Marriages and Families

How to Form a Marriage Ministry Team

Below is a step-by-step process for how to form a marriage ministry team (or for preparing your existing team to enter into this mentoring model).  The first semester is dedicated to the team experiencing personally the dynamics of mentoring and transparency.  The goal is that each couple will then lead a mentoring group the following semester. 

Adapt the following suggestions according to the maturity and particular needs of your team and context.

1. Pray—a lot!  Pray before and after taking each of the following steps, seeking to hear and follow the direction of God.
   
   
2. Form a study group with people interested in developing a marriage ministry, or with your existing ministry team.  We recommend studying Norman Wright’s updated classic, Communication: Key to Your Marriage.  The group should meet weekly for at least a semester.  In order to not overload the team with an extra weekly commitment, consider meeting during the Sunday School hour.  If meeting space is limited, the team could meet in the home of someone who lives near the church or in one of the team members’ homes.
   
   
3. Consider inviting the pastor and his wife participate in this introductory semester either as participants or as mentors of the group.  Consult the pastor in regard to which couples he thinks should be invited to participate.  Perhaps he will know who has expressed prior interest in marriage ministry and may help motivate them to get involved.
   
   
4. Seek the pastor’s and church leadership’s approval and support of this pilot project with the understanding that if it flies, it will become a longterm ministry of the church. 
   
   
5. Determine which couple will lead the marriage ministry team.
   
   
6. Schedule a meeting for understanding this ministry model and planning the initial semester and goals for the future.  Adapt all of our suggestions to your own context and needs.
   
   
7. Begin the weekly two-hour mentoring group meetings as a team.
   
   
8. If your marriage ministry team includes at least four couples, to be more efficient, choose three people to be an “executive team” to bring objective proposals to the larger group for evaluation and modification.  The executive team should include the people most gifted in planning and organization, and should normally include at least one woman and one man.
   
   
9. Research other models of marriage ministry, and visit them if possible.  Research ministry resources on the internet, especially anything you can find about small groups and marriage ministries.  Please send us an e-mail regarding good materials or programs you find in this regard so we can add them to our list of marriage ministry tools. 
   
   
10. About two months before multiplying with new mentoring groups, each couple on the team should pray, list, and invite couples with whom they would like to form a mentoring group for the next semester.  Plan a one-day retreat as a kickoff event for the first module and include the date in the invitation to interested couples.  Plan when and where the mentoring groups will meet.  Consider using the Sunday School hour if that has worked well for the team’s semester together.
    
    
11. If possible, participate in a training event about spiritual gifts and ministry teams.  Willowcreek’s Networking Ministries has excellent training material.  See their site at http://www.willowcreek.com/resources/ Bruce Bugbee’s Ministry Networking material on http://www.zondervanchurchsource.com/nd.  Click on Zondervan Groupware.
    
    
12. Whenever there is opportunity, participate in training retreats or seminars that will enrich and sharpen the team’s knowledge and skills.
    
    
13. If possible, join or help form a network of marriage ministry teams in your area, for mutual encouragement.  Look for chances to interact with teams that have more experience.
    
    
14. The team should develop a continuing education mentality.  This can include reading and discussing an excellent book in the area of marriage together or reading different books and sharing pertinent content with the whole team.
    
    
15. Develop strategic planning for the next year, including a vision statement, measurable objectives and strategies for reaching them, a calendar of special events and retreats, etc.

Return to the initial page on healthy marriages and families or go to Developing a Vision and Strategies for Marriage Ministry.